My Dog The Bank Robber

(c) 2006, Carrie Taylor

At first Hilary Wankenschnauser, a bank teller we interviewed at Wells Fungo Bank, had no idea what was going on. "I heard a tiny voice from nowhere telling me to remain calm and not to make any sudden movements or balloon animals." Unable to control herself, she leaned over the counter and saw the terrifying masked face shown here in a picture taken from the security camera. She could tell the dangerous Daschund meant business because of the steely glint in his eye. "Give me 100 Snausages and I'll leave peacefully" the tiny dog said. Confused and unable to comply Hilary quickly replied "We don't have any Snausages! Why don't you just ask for a bag of unmarked twenties and I'll write down the address of a nearby pet store?". With fury in his voice and a tiny bit of Alpo in on his breath the crazed canine replied "I warned you!", and left a disturbingly messy and difficult to clean doggy present on the banks expensive carpet, before fleeing the bank.

(c) 2006, Carrie Taylor

UPDATE: The owner of the daring Daschund sent us a picture and a note in an attempt to explain why she has not turned in her felonious pooch to the police. For obvious reasons, in this picture she too is masked and has chosen to remain anonymous. "What can I do? I love my dog and besides, with the money I've made selling Snausages on eBay I was able to buy my own lobbyist in Washington. He will soon introduce a bill making Snausage theft a misdemeanor instead of a felony. At that point we will come forward and make amends for the trouble my little bank robber has caused."